cooties

I really really really really like to be around you. I find you always making me laugh or sigh. Never am I annoyed with you, except for when you aren’t by my side. When you touch me it’s so exciting! Especially that one time our heads hit and you kissed my forehead. That was cute. I am so obsessed with getting together. I could do anything with you. Your work is beautiful, and I’d like to be your work. When you call me pretty, I feel on top of the world. Right now I don’t believe in love, but when we hold hands I believe in love. I don’t know what I want from you, but I am having a hell of a time spending time with you.

Today is lazy. I don’t feel like doing anything at all. NOT EVEN ART. Sometimes I sit in my room and ponder for so long about what I should do. Normally it is me pondering about some weird art project I want to do. The color of my room inspires and motivates me. But I’m starting to think I have too much color in my room. This is because there are tons of posters, art, etc. that are extremely colorful  hanging over the pale yellow walls. I’m not sure if I should take them down when I go to college. Creating a new space and/or “home” will be very weird for me next year, and this decision will be among the hardest (the posters). If my parents turn my room into some wanna-be yoga studio or office or something, I will feel ouber weird. Dawn’s room was converted into an office only because of financial issues with my parent’s business, plus, the room is downstairs. What is even weirder, is that in four months (when I graduate), Dani will probably still be living here and she is older than I am, but I’ll be moving out before her. If she uses my room as something phony, like storage purposes, I will be pissed. I sound like Holden.

http://www.goveg.com/factoryFarming.asp

This weekend I moved my bed to be perpendicular to the window in my room. My cat, Nike, still isn’t used to this move. It’s been raining all weekend which reminds me of my future, thus making me happy. I’ve also been sick and now can’t sleep. Too many things are on my mind. But hearing the rain is relaxing me.

Right now I have this odd desire to want to get in a beautiful cocktail dress, put on some heels and make-up. And get all dolled up to go out to dinner with friends. That is on my mind, and also my cousin’s wedding that will happen the weekend after I graduate this June. I hope that I will never be tied down with a man and feel the need to get married like my cousin. Not that I don’t want to get married, I just hope I will do it at the right time with the right man.

Yesterday

There was a moment yesterday that stopped me in my tracks. It was one of those moments that your perception is slowed down, ya know? Everything slowed down, and I realized I was really happy.